Stories for the Masses

The mutterings of a half-mad Canuck who writes stuff

The First Draft

The other day, during my quasi-random internet wanderings (probably on facebook, really) I stumbled upon this quote, which is attributed to Sir Terry of Pratchett.

The first daft is just you telling yourself the story.

At first blush, this seems just another empty, insipid bit of pop-inspirational drivel – like most of what so many people circulate around the internet. But Sir Terry is one of the wisest and most insightful people to have put words to page over the last two centuries. Sir Terry wrote 41 novels in the Discworld series, 39 of which provide deeply cutting satire and an incisive examination of various aspects of Western society that the vast majority of people take for granted as “just the way things are” (all while simultaneously being absolutely hilarious and charming and lovely), and 2 of which were hamstrung to varying degrees by his dementia and, in the case of the final novel, by having been completed by someone who was not Sir Terry (which in no way tarnishes his legacy). Sir Terry doesn’t do drivel. Sir Terry doesn’t do insipid. If Terry Pratchett said a thing, then it is worth considering that thing, and so I did. And it changed how I think about writing in a pretty fundamental way.

You see, I’ve always been very much a plotting sort of writer. I love me an outline. This is something that’s true of many writers, and in particular of full-time professional writers (something that I still aspire to become). If you are writing for a living, you need to be organized and focused. You don’t have time to faff around for months hammering out a sloppy mess of a first draft, most of which you’ll have to throw away anyway, right? You need to know where you’re going, and you need to get there in a reasonably efficient manner. Pantsing your way through a first draft might possibly be fun and interesting and whatever, but it is not efficient. Outlining gets you there faster and more easily.

I’m fond of saying that everyone outlines, it’s just that some people do it differently. Plotters outline by using bullet lists or the snowflake method or various other tools to cut through the cruft and get to the meat of their story quickly so that they can get down to the business of actually writing that story as quickly as possible. Pantsers also outline, but they do this by wandering their way through hundreds of pages of prose. A plotter’s outline looks like the skeleton of a story, a pantser’s outline looks like a story. But it isn’t a story – not yet – it’s just an outline that’s shaped like story. I mean, I’ve always felt that by building a well-thought-out outline before starting my first draft, I was even taking care of a lot of the work that a first draft is supposed to accomplish. Effectively, my outlined first draft should be the equivalent of a pantser’s second or third draft, right?

But that’s not what an outline does.

An outline doesn’t remove the need for a first draft, because the first draft is just you telling yourself the story, and an outline doesn’t tell you the story. An outline just shows you the shape of the story. Outlining might help you produce a more focused and cohesive first draft, but at the end of the day, both the plotters and the pantser’s first drafts are doing the same job.

One analogy I quite like for this is a sculpting analogy. I’m skeptical of those (like Stephen King) who claim that their stories already exist in the universe and that the job of the writer is to uncover them, to dig them up from the dirt of the ether and present them to the world, but I find this sculpting analogy compelling. It goes like this: the first draft is the writer gathering the raw materials, the marble or whatever that will become the sculpture. Once the materials are gathered, the writer’s job, to paraphrase Michelangelo, is to chip away all the parts that aren’t the story.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be sticking to my outlining and my planning. I find it gives me a much better idea of which parts of the first draft are the story and which ones aren’t. Pantsing gets you your block of marble, but plotting gets you a statue-shaped block of marble and I’d rather start that much closer to where I’m trying to go. Going forward, though, I probably won’t spend nearly as much time nailing down the details in the outline. The level of detail I have historically put into my outlines is largely a waste of time, because the outline is not the place where I should be telling myself the story. That’s what the first draft is for.

Breaking Bad – Season 2, Episode 1

The first episode of a new season is an interesting sort of animal. It has a lot of different hats it has to wear (yes, that was on purpose) and some of them are contradictory. Starting off a new season, it’s important to capture, or re-capture, the interest and excitement with which you ended the previous season. In this type of show you also need to raise the stakes in some way. On top of all that, you also need to lay the groundwork for the upcoming season’s storylines, character development, plot twists and cetera. Oh, and all of this needs to happen with a story that is already in progress.

Tall order, that.

The opening scene is a pretty effective, though perhaps unimaginative way of accomplishing the first task. Replay season 1’s closing scene and use it to remind the audience of exactly where we were when last we met. It reminds us that when it comes to the evils in the world, there are levels. It also reminds us that Walt and Jessie are now very firmly in over their heads, but it reads a bit differently at the beginning of a season than it does at the end of one. As the ending of a season, it comes across as “Oh, holy shit, now what?”. At the start of a season it’s “Oh, holy shit, now what?“. It’s an important distinction. The stakes seem to have been raised significantly and our focus is subtly shifted from what just happened to what’s going to happen next. Walt and Jessie are now playing in the big leagues and they will either rise to the occasion or they will be utterly destroyed.

Now, when it comes to the groundwork for the upcoming storylines, I have a bit of an admission to make, dear reader. I haven’t quite managed to keep my knowledge of the show as spoiler-free as I would have liked. I have stumbled across the odd bit of information here and there such that I know there was a plane crash, though I’m not sure specifically how that will play into the plot of this season. I did catch, however, that the burned teddy bear in the swimming pool was detritus from the crash, and I’m pretty sure the $737,000 that Walt calculates he needs is a reference to a Boing 737. I also know that at some point there will be characters named Saul, Mike, and Gus Fring (thanks a lot YouTube algorithm), though again I have no idea when they show up, or what role they will play in the story.

In terms of threads that have been unplucked from the show’s frayed hem in this episode and are ready to be unravelled over the course of the next 11 episodes or so: we have Walt almost spilling the beans (also on purpose – sorry, not sorry) to Skyler; Walt leaving all the money in the box of diapers where Skyler is almost certain to find it (thereby forcing Walt to finish spilling the beans); the identity of the people who are surveilling Walt and Jessie (probably the big players that Hank mentions, whose toes are likely to get stepped on by someone who needs that much precursor); and of course the abduction of Walt and Jessie by Tuco, who probably thinks those big players are out to get him as he likely doesn’t know what happened to Gonzo other than that he suddenly disappeared.

I’m a bit less interested in the whole Marie/Hank/Skyler shoplifting storyline. It feels a bit tacked on to me, like it was meant to be a piece of smoke and mirrors distraction in season 1 and now the writers aren’t sure what to do with it. It’s important that we not lose sight of the fact that this is all happening as the result of Walt’s choices, and that rather than saving his family, those choices are more or less destroying it, which Skyler’s breakdown in front of Hank demonstrates, but adding in the conflict with her sister really only serves to muddy the waters unnecessarily in my opinion.

All in all, a solid episode that felt a bit slow in places, but laid some very interesting groundwork that I hope to see pay off handsomely in the next several episodes.

Breaking Bad – Season 1, Episode 7

Interesting widening of the scope in this episode. We have Hank’s illegal Cuban cigars, Marie’s shoplifting (presumably some form of compulsive kleptomania-esque behaviour), Walter and Jessie’s chemical robbery and meth production, and then Tuco’s sociopathic murder of one of his own henchmen. As Joe Rogan is fond of saying, “there are levels to this”.

We are presented with an interesting spectrum of law-breakage. As Walter says, “it’s interesting where we choose to draw the line.” We, the audience, are also being invited to decide where we draw the line. What are we willing to accept? Is it acceptable for a DEA agent to use his position to get goods that he could arrest another man for possessing? Few people take the boycott of Cuba very seriously these days, but how do we feel about Hank’s abuse of power and position? Is it acceptable for Marie to steal from shops? Does it make it more acceptable if she is mentally ill and unable to control herself? What about Walter’s activities? Do his motives make a difference? Do we believe that his motives are what he says they are?

And then there’s Tuco. While the other three examples could realistically be seen as examples of generally lawful people transgressing the law – pushing the envelope in some way – Tuco is a clear example of someone who lives entirely outside of the law. Jessie’s description of him to Walter in the RV is spot on. He lives outside the law, and outside of society. He represents the extreme end of the spectrum of transgression.

There is also the theme of the forbidden fruit tasting the sweetest. Walter and Skylar’s back seat rodeo was “so damned good”, as Walter points out, because it is illegal. The risk of getting caught adds some spice to it all.

Walter’s conversation with Hank about the arbitrary nature of deciding what is legal and what is illegal is, of course, the flimsiest of strawmen. It is obvious that some things are illegal for very good reasons. It is a halfhearted attempt to justify to himself that what he is doing “isn’t really so bad after all, is it?” His question to Skylar near the end of the episode about what she would do if it had been him shoplifting tiaras is a pretty clear indication that he knows he can’t keep his new hobby a secret from his wife forever. At the very least, if all of this money is going to go to his family she will find out about it at that point. Her response is also telling. I’m looking forward to seeing how that dynamic plays out over the next few seasons.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of this episode, though, is the expression on Walt and Jessie’s faces at the end of the episode as they watch Tuco’s driver load the body of the other man into the car. The stunned horror on their faces is a clear indication that this is their first clear glimpse of how deep the depravity rabbit hole goes. What a great way to end the episode and to end the season. Season 2 looks to be very compelling.

Breaking Bad – Season 1, Episode 6

There are two major things I feel are worth talking about from this episode; the flash-forward (that’s the technical term for when foreshadowing and spoilers have a baby) at the beginning of the episode, and the masterful way in which Walter White’s internal conflict is manifesting in the world.

They are kind of the same thing, actually.

I recently read about research into the actual effect spoilers have on an audience. Turns out, knowing the ending actually enhances the enjoyment of a story. I guess that’s why Shakespeare is still popular after all these years. The reasoning behind this idea is that when you know what’s going to happen, you are free to enjoy the journey more. You can pay attention to the subtle nuance, the interplay of characters, you can appreciate the sheer inevitability of events and oh my god, the tension you can build.

I spent the whole episode knowing that, despite Walt’s admonition of no more violence at the beginning, he was going to end the episode with a bag of money in his hand and a building of exploded scumbags in the middle distance behind him. Every event in the episode, every decision, that image was brought back to mind in the back of my head. When Jessie called to say he had an in with Tuco, when he told Tuco he wanted money up front, when Walt found out what happened to Jessie…

That feeling of inevitability is what makes the anguish Walt feels at the end so effective. He didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ – he doesn’t want to be ‘that guy’. But he is that guy, and he had no real choice about it.

I still really expect that at some point Walt is going to embrace that part of himself, but until that time I’ll enjoy the hell out of his internal anguish.

Breaking Bad – Season 1, Episode 5

I feel like I’m getting the hang of the pacing for this show now. I figured we’d get mostly character development and then a reunion with Jessie at the end, and here we are.

What was interesting to me was the nature of the character development. Walt’s backstory with Elliot and Gretchen is particularly compelling – I hope we get to find out more about how things went sour between them all. Either way, we now have a much better understanding of why Walt is more willing to enter a life of crime for his remaining time than he is to accept help from his old friends. There are reservoirs of wounded pride and ill will here that seem to go so very, very deep. I have the feeling that Walt’s pride will be a recurring theme in upcoming seasons.

Also interesting was the fact that it was Skyler’s sister who seemed the most empathetic during the intervention that wasn’t an intervention. Given that she spent the first few episodes being a total asshole to her sister (and is a shoe thief), that surprised me. Fantastic acting from Betsy Brandt in that scene in particular.

I’ve not a clue what specifically is going to happen next. There are two more episodes in the season, so I expect another batch of meth will get cooked and something will go wrong and the season will end with Walt in danger of getting caught by his brother-in-law. It might have something to do with that respirator that got left behind after the first cook site.

I’m looking forward to finding out.

If you’re watching along with me, any thoughts? What complications do you see in Walt’s immediate future? The comments box is there for a reason 😉

Breaking Bad – Season 1, Episode 4

This was the episode I was expecting last time. A whole bunch foreshadowing, and Walt finally turns the corner!

The opening sequence in the DEA ready room confirms in my mind the idea that Walt becomes some sort of drug kingpin. I mean it’s not a far stretch even never having watched the show, given there are 5 seasons and the character has to go somewhere, but it’s nice to see some sort of more overt acknowledgement of the idea.

Jessie’s return home is a direct appeal to our sentimentality, a reminder that some bridges can never be re-crossed once they’ve been burned, and serves as a contrast to Walt’s opposite journey. It gives us a reason to believe that Jessie has no other options open to him. He can’t go home again.

Through most of the episode we see Walt trying vainly to hold on to some semblance of his old life, trying to go back to normal. He kicks Jessie out and tries to break ties. He has the in-laws over for a bbq.

The catalyst of Walt Jr. telling him to just give up and die if he doesn’t want to try and beat the cancer seems to be what pushes him through to finally commit to a decision. The final scene of him blowing up the douchebag’s car is a clear signal that he’s finally decided to live as though there are no consequences (although you’ll notice that he was cautious about not getting caught. Self-preservation is apparently a difficult habit to break).

The way that he dealt with the douchebag is also telling. That was a very ingenious way to destroy a vehicle (I’m not entirely sure it would blow up like that as opposed to just killing the battery and maybe starting a small fire under the hood, but hey – it’s TV), and he came up with it in a matter of seconds and then calmly and efficiently put it into action in not much more time than that.

When not crippled by indecision, he is a force to be reckoned with.

Next episode should see Walt stopping by Jessie’s place and getting the band back together. We should see more follow up on the DEA investigation, as well. It’s likely to be more of a character development episode, as opposed to an action packed one, but there might be the introduction of a new “big problem” sub-plot to replace the Emilio/Krazy 8 issue now that that has been resolved.

Breaking Bad – Season 1, Episode 3

An interesting turn of events, this. Many of the questions I had about Walter’s character remain unanswered, or answered in ways I wasn’t expecting.

He still hasn’t murdered anyone in cold blood. I wonder, though, that even after he knew that Krazy 8 had the piece of plate, he still maneuvered the situation around to where killing him was an act of self preservation.

On the plus side, Walter gets to maintain his moral ambiguity. He’s still doing bad things that harm people, but the harm is indirect and can be justified as being self-inflicted for the most part (I realise this contradicts the current popular view on drug addiction but fuck it, either we’re responsible for all of our own actions, or we’re responsible for none of them). He is also still doing those bad things for good reasons. as flimsy as that justification is.

On the negative side, we are left with a protagonist who still hasn’t completely committed himself to a course of action. He still hasn’t taken any steps that can’t be untaken or forgiven. Had he walked down there and used the hammer on the back of Krazy 8’s skull or sliced his throat open – even knowing that it was to protect his family from the possibility of murder – we would have looked at Walter differently. He would no longer have been out of place in “this line of work”.

I guess where I’m left dissatisfied is that I like my characters to be more clearly defined, and Walter White is not yet clearly defined. He is certainly not a hero, but nor is he truly an anti-hero. He is a sort of quasi-proto-hero, and that leaves me feeling vaguely unfulfilled.

Perhaps the conversation he’s about to have with Skyler about the cancer will give him the push he needs to hold the strength of his convictions. I’m still holding out hope for my theory about him taking over the drug industry and eliminating all rivals.

He just seems like that kind of guy.

I have a theory about where I think the show is heading, and it didn’t really fit in the last post, so I’ll put it here.

Given what we know about Walter thus far – he’s a very logical, straight-line-to-the-problem sort of man and has no patience for ineptitude – I see him coming to a very interesting conclusion. With what’s happening with Krazy 8 right now, it seems like the only way for Walter and Jessie to be safe in this endeavor of theirs is to take over the whole industry and remove all competition. This will have the added appeal in Walter’s mind of making sure that the whole thing is run properly.

It’s possible that he’s also planning ahead to when the cancer takes him out, and wants to make sure that when he goes, the drugs go away.

I wonder if the entire 5 seasons of the show are about Walter White taking over the meth business in the Southwest by any means necessary…

Breaking Bad – Season 1, Episode 2

Holy shit, how is that guy still alive?

So, hey… remember last post when I wondered if Walter would be up to killing someone in cold blood? Turns out, no – at least not easily and not yet.

There wasn’t a lot happening in this episode compared to the last one. Not in terms of action and plot, anyway, but there’s a whole lot of character building and exposition going on, and most of it was pretty cool.

I like the way they handled the tension between Walter and Skyler. Their marriage is under an enormous amount of stress but there are still moments of joy and it all rings true. Plot-wise, I’m still not sure how he would have managed to withdraw all of their savings to buy that RV and have Skyler (the tech-literate ebay seller who also manages their finances) remain unaware of it, but the emotional back and forth come across as absolutely believable.

Walters turmoil (and waffling) over the killing of Krazy 8 is a good thing. A necessary thing, in my opinion. If he were capable of just ending a man’s life, even this man, he would become less interesting. It’s the juxtaposition of the absolutely moral Walter White, who Jessie describes as “an absolute straight with a stick up his ass”, and the crooked, morally bankrupt world in which he’s chosen to involve himself that gives the show (thus far) it’s momentum.

He has promised Jessie that he will do it tomorrow, and I suspect that Walter White is the kind of man who keeps his promises. I haven’t checked IMDB, but I suspect that the actor who plays Krazy 8 only has three episodes credited to him.

Jessie is a bit more problematic from a storytelling perspective. I’m not sure how he fits in to the moral narrative. He’s not particularly moral, but nor is he particularly amoral. He was no more comfortable with the idea of killing Krazy 8 than Walter was, at any rate. If he was a complete dirt bag, I might expect some sort of Walter White led redemption story, but as Jessie himself pointed out – this ain’t no Welcome Back Kotter (though how a kid his age would even know that reference…). I guess it’s possible that, as a standard denizen of this world, he’s there to contrast against Walter and make sure we don’t lose sight of Walter’s underlying morality (??).

They just didn’t seem to do much with him in this episode, and his character direction seems a bit confused so far. I hope they develop him more in the next few episodes. He has potential and could become interesting if handled properly.

Breaking Bad – Pilot

Ok, so umm… wow.

First off, let me say that the bleakness of Walter White’s life is absolutely breathtaking in both its scope and its degree. Done less carefully, a character this down on his luck, a character whose life is this irredeemably shitty, would have no choice but to be taken as caricature.

Far from being a self-parody, though, Walter White is absolutely 100% believable and sympathetic. (It should disturb me a lot more than it does how much this guy resonates with me, but that’s another issue entirely.) Here is a man who is passionate about his field, passionate about trying to pass that on, and who struggles mightily every day to just keep going, keep his head above water, and keep his family afloat at the same time.

What makes the setup for this show believable is, knowing a number of teachers from the US, I know that Walter’s situation is all too common. He has to work multiple jobs to earn a living wage, gets no respect from anyone for what he does, and (because ‘Merika) has next to no health coverage should things go south.

What makes it horrific is how absolutely mundane the show makes it all seem. How commonplace and acceptable.

*shudder*

I really enjoyed how all the pieces fell into place to get Walter into a position that would have seemed impossible at the outset. I particularly enjoyed the fact that none of it was by accident. Every step was the result of a conscious (though often ill-informed) decision that Walter made and, so far at least, he owns it all.

If this episode is indicative of what’s to come, I’m in for a treat. The writers have done a wonderful job of getting Mr. White to set up house in a moral abyss while keeping him relatively moral. He’s doing a very bad thing but, as he has always done, he’s also doing the right thing (in a narrower sense). He’s taking care of his family – or trying to – in the best way he knows how. The only way available to him, really.

I’m sure there are going to be some very big decisions in Walter’s immediate future. I’m interested to see how far he ‘breaks bad’ and how difficult he finds those decisions. He killed two guys, but that was in self-defense. Would he have killed them in cold-blood? How is he going to reconcile himself to some of his students inevitably doing the drugs he made?

I’m going to wait until tomorrow night to watch episode 2, but I’m really tempted to watch it now.

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